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When one thinks of writer Brian Azzarello, the things that readily come to mind are guns, crime, and shadey characters.  He isn’t someone you quickly associate with comedic fourth-wall-breaking romps.  And yet, with artist Cliff Chiang, he delivers exactly that in the guise of Doctor 13.

This mini-series showcases the character originally created in 1951 now teaming up with the likes of Traci 13, Anthro, I… Vampire, the Haunted Tank, Infectious Lass, and Genius Jones.  In other words, it’s a book showcasing D-listers.  Think of it as the DC version of Next Wave, except with a point.

As a comic book, Dr. 13′s strength is also its weakness.  It is extremely in-jokey and requires a solid-to-strong knowledge of recent DC continuity both on and off the pages; because believe it or not, the main villains of this book are a quartet of seemingly all-powerful beings known as the architects, whom eagle-eyed fanboys will recognize as Grant Morrison, Geof Johns, Greg Rucka, and Mark Waid.  These same four creators laid down major foundations for today’s DC universe way back in the weekly series 52.

Dr. 13 is the hilariously executed story of a perennial skeptic who is faced with the reality that someone is in charge of his fate.  But it really need not sound that serious.  It’s about a tired old fictional character challenging the powers that be in order to stay relevant and survive in an ever-changing (read ever-rebooting) comic book universe.  Read it if you think Azzarello’s dark and twisted writing style hides a nostalgic humor-laden talking ape at its heart.  You’d be surprised.

From the journals…

It’s the year 2000, and I am making a war movie with thirty-nine high school classmates. We are filming in Video8.  The closest thing we have to digital are the crappy ten-second clips our phones can swallow before choking.  The boys are making a movie about killing each other, and I’ve got a camera.Directing is a funny thing.  The designated literati have gifted me and my cut crew with a face full of script while we manually record gunfire exchange from Saving Private Ryan.  Someone presents the idea of ripping the sound off of Counter-Strike games, someone sees through it and reminds everyone how tight of a deadline we have.

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We caravan to the woods up a mountain, as well as down south to film in a beach.  Ralph has a lame battle cry.  Andy throws a molotov cocktail.  Raymond stabs Julius in his styrofoam chest.  Alfred serves us water when we create the UN.  I kill George.  Forty people.  Forty credits.

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Filming ends with urban battles shot at the campus on a lonely Saturday afternoon.  The light is yellow.  It is quiet today, and my skeleton crew is smiling for the approaching end to the project and a good day’s work, equally.  We made something today.  For all our bickering and bullshit, we finished something with all our names on the best-before seal.  School is out in a couple of months and we’re all off to college.  Different colleges.

Someone nameless kicks the knob off our classroom door.

I keep it.

Found, scribbled in old notebook; Source uncited:

Three men of virtue were asked why they never lied.

The god-fearing man answered, “because lying is evil and does harm to my fellow man.”

The worldly man said, “because I do not wish for others to lie to me.”

The honest man said, “because I’m not a liar.”

So here’s the gist of it.  For a really long time, astronomers have believed that the universe is expanding as a result of the Big Bang, with the attendant belief that it is slowing down as it grows.  Coz, y’know… that’s how it should be, right?  In 1998, a super nova research team discovered the universe is in fact accelerating.

Scientists blame Dark Energy, a “mysterious” force with the feature of repulsive gravity.  It’s the closest thing we’ll get to anti-gravity, only it isn’t.  And there’s a lot of it.  One thing scientists seem to know for sure about it is that it appears to have a constant density throughout the universe over time.  Meaning, with the universe expanding, the amount of dark energy somehow increases to keep up with it.  Like the bones in our bodies, as it were.

The simple explanation for that is that dark energy is somehow a fixed feature of space-time itself, so it expands as the universe expands.   It’s just there because it has to be.

Now, given that Dark Energy is theorized to be the constant repulsive force behind the constant expanding universe, if the density of dark energy decreased over time, that would slow down the rate of universal expansion.  That would potentially lead to the Big Crunch, in which all observable matter collapses into a single point of energy.

But what if the density of dark energy increased?  First of all, remember that the observable universe is just whatever has had enough time for its light to reach Earth, so the expansion of the universe means that some sectors of it have moved forever beyond our ability to see it.  Now imagine everything is pulled so far apart by the cosmic expansion that each individual piece of observable universe is no larger than a galaxy, or the solar system.  Expand that even more, and eventually the observable universe will be little more than a planet.  Your city.

The room you’re in.

Individual.  Atoms.

This is an alternate theory to the end of all things is known as the Big Rip, postulating that all structures in the universe down to the subatomic get torn apart.  Something to think about.

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Creating art as a profession teaches you things.  There’s a big difference between drawing for yourself, for fun, for art’s sake… and drawing to pay the rent, to feed yourself, and to keep the lights on.  It’s a job.  And while this distinction is clear to a precious few whom I love and respect immensely, I figured it’d be peachy to lay down a grocery list of the most common misconceptions that most people have about artists.

#1 Artists are proud of everything they create. Nope.  More often that not, we are painfully aware of how a piece could have been better, even when our peers compliment us or at least gently bend us over.  We know we can be better.  And while most of us can take constructive criticism like normal people, also keep in mind that no one sits at a desk, whips out his art equipment, and intentionally tries to suck.

#2 Artists are insulted by reference material. No way.  There may be a handful of artists who scoff at drawing from reference, but the majority appreciate it and tend to consider it a genuine effort to make our job easier, may you be a collaborating writer or even just a fan commissioning a piece.  Nah.  Whatever helps us make the finished piece better is usually appreciated.

#3 We like flowery scripts. This is a weird one.  Some writers tend to fashion scripts thinking of their collaborators as the audience.  Though there may be a bit of merit to that, nine times out of ten, an artist will prefer that you just say an alley is dark rather than “oppressed by the shadows of the adjacent concrete monoliths.”  While yes, it serves to help the imagery, keep in mind that you don’t need to sell us on the story.  We are already working with you.

#4 We don’t need praise. We do.  Admit it, artists.  The biggest reason you’re still on Deviant Art is the ego stroking.  Take me for example, after a day’s work, I’d like to hear more than “ooh, that’s nice.”  What’s the matter?  Am I a puppy?  Did you pass out because my page is so awesome and that’s why you can’t say anything more?  All I’m saying is… If you’re a writer receiving pages and you like them, tell your artist you do.  Don’t just ask for the next one.  Show the love.

#5 We’re always in the mood to draw. This is probably the most common misconception, and understandably so.  When comic fans see us at cons, it’s at artist alley.  When writers hit us up, it’s within the context that you are a collaborator whose job it is to illustrate a story.  But of course, just like every OB-GYN gets sick of staring at vaginas every now and then, sometimes we just want to sit at our desk and NOT be holding a pencil.

So that’s it.  Five common misconceptions about artists.  I’m pretty sure I’m wrong about a couple of them and very right about others, but this is all from experience, so bear with me.  Now back to work…

Pencil Flex came back in a big way when Miko picked the theme this week and decided (unilaterally, like a punk) that we’d all be doing Paleo art.  I’m pretty sure it’s no secret that I love drawing dinosaurs though, so I had a really good time doing the pieces I had the time for.

I went with just the usual rough pencil sketches and cleaned them up some with Photoshop rendering.  Trying to win back some painting sea legs as I find I’m a bit out of practice on that front.

Check out all the pieces over at Pencil Flex.